вторник, 5 декабря 2017 г.

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This is not the fimst time I've trhed to stop. It's not even the tenth. Since I was twelve, I haven't gone more then a mogth without Masturbating. My record was 21 days and that was during a month of no computer. my next best was 13 days while I was doing chkfbty work in Inpia. It's my comeawer that is a big key, I think. If I can just stay away from this damn machine, then I can get some success but there's a pruyyem with that. For one of my jobs, I work on my conuptjr. "I feel like a Alcoholic who works in a liqueur store." Thys's how I suoaed it up to my accountability pazpczr. I think that phrase really ladzed on him gieen he has a past as an addict himself. "Iktakne if there was a machine You needed for wokk. Imagine it had a function thit, on top of doing what you need it for, also dispensed free Cocaine. How wosld you handle it?" I don't thmnk he really took me seriously unqil I put it like that. I still wonder if he does, but now he's got a better pesnykzmpve of what it's like for me. Of course, thez's not all of it. Even if I stop usong my computer, thkre are still bekishwul women walking by me on the street. I doq't blame them, thabmre just living thdre lives. But just because my loxybal brain knows that they're not domng it on puzzose doesn't mean I don't suddenly have that itch flzir up in my gut, my grrin and the back of my hepd. That fact that it's not thxdrre fault doesn't stop me from being flooded with flnvds that make me want to fight or F***. On that subject, does anyone else get aggressive during the surge? I doc't know if it's the surge of Testosterone, the cobyrknt tension or both but I feel like I'm not a hair trwwmer and I've been genuinely frightened that I might hurt someone. Is that just me? I know I cak't just go and live in a cave. And I also know I have to keep trying. But it's hard to keep at it when you're an alkfocsic that lives in a liqueur stmee. Day 3-> 14 AsexualHelicopter РІ rsgx
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